February 19, 2007
YES YES YES.
Someone give this filmmaker some money, stat:
(Via chud.)
Posted by starlen at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)
October 10, 2006
Chiru!
I've just learned of Chiru, a fantastic Telugu actor, also known as Chiranjeevi, or Konidela Siva Snara Vara Prasad. He apparently founded the Chiranjeevi Charitable Trust for Eye and Blood Donations. According to Wikipedia, he's also won four Nandi Awards and seven Southern Filmfare awards for Best Actor.
But that's not important. What is important, though, is this trio of videos on YouTube, posted in approximate order of excellence. Chiru, it seems, really likes Michael Jackson. And Axel Foley. And Boogaloo Shrimp. And cowboys. Which makes him pretty awesome in my book.
If you watch only one, watch this, Chiru's take on Michael Jackson's Thriller. They appear to have roughly grabbed scenes from Thriller and done away completely with the storyline of the original video. The song is way more kick-ass than Thriller, though - check the crazy synth-line, and the addictive Goli Mar! refrain. Also, note how hard Chiru works to keep the fangs in the beginning as he opens his mouth:
Here, Chiru sings something to the tune of Beverly Hills Cop and threatens to put you in a "Rock Trance." Also, he's dressed straight-up Breakin' style:
And finally, here's his Smooth Cowboy:
Posted by starlen at 9:05 AM | Comments (1)
August 31, 2006
Yo La Tengo, Dead to Me.
I never thought this day would come. Yo La Tengo and I, well, we've had some good times together. Sure, things started a little rough, when, at 14, I found myself unimpressed by Painful when I checked it out from the library.
But then Electr-O-Pura straightened me out, and we became fast friends. Flying Lesson, Tom Courtenay, Pablo and Andrea - it was like gold spun from my speakers. Blue Line Swinger, their closing 9 minute opus, was unlike anything else I'd heard up until that point. And I don't even have to tell you about how great I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One was, or how much it soundtracked the first false start of my college career, and the whirlwind year leading up to my marriage.
Heck, I even re-evaluated Painful, and found that I no longer found the title to be a fitting description of how I thought listening to it felt. And now, they've got this new album coming out, with, like the best name ever, and boy howdy, was I excited.
But then I found this. And I realize that it has to be over for us - I just can't support them, not after this traitorous call to make the world's most disgusting condiment the national condiment of the U.S. of A.
It was fun while it lasted, Ira, James, and Georgia. But, sadly, it's all over now.
Posted by starlen at 11:11 AM | Comments (0)
August 4, 2006
The Descent
The Descent hits theatres today. If you appreciate a good scare at all, go see it. It's the best horror film in quite some time and one of the best films this year, horror or otherwise.
A small review, reasons why you should see it now, in the theaters, and why the marketing campaign and Lions Gate suck, all after the jump.
Written and directed by Neil Marshall, The Descent has a simple plot: a group of friends go spelunking in an unexplored cave system, become trapped, and then find out they're not alone. It's an incredibly claustrophobic and suspenseful film that takes its time to establish characters and relationships, with nary a cannibal beast in sight for more than the first half of the film.
Neil Marshall's last film, Dog Soldiers, is the sort of film that showed just enough promise to become quickly overrated by its many champions. The Descent delivers on that promise, with strong characters, spot-on performances, genuine scares, and the most tense solid half hour I've spent in a theatre. It's the sort of film that makes you jump, but stays scary after the "Boo!" moment.
I watched the film at home off of a DVD that paused for ten seconds every five minutes or so (not bootleg - just a different region that my DVD player wasn't playing nice with), and it still built up enough tension to make me jump multiple times and remain creeped out after the film was over. And when I watched it again a couple of weeks later, I still jumped.
I can't recommend enough that you go see this film sooner than later, though, so as to see it with a crowd. I caught it at an outdoor screening at the John Ford Amphitheatre as part of the Los Angeles Film Festival, and it was easily the biggest, most enjoyable crowd reaction I've ever seen or been a part of. I have never seen so many people jump at once, nor heard so many out-loud screams in a theater ever.
As a side note, the marketing for the film in the US has been pretty terrible. From the not-as-clever-as-it-thinks-it-is poster, to the "From the studio that brought you Saw and Hostel" misdirection-in-the-wrong-direction, I'm aware that the film looks like a slightly gorier retread of that Cave film from last year you probably already forgot about. This film has nothing in common with either Saw or Hostel's assault-on-the-senses filmic violence - if anything, the film has more in common with 28 Days Later (though that's not quite apt, either).
The studio touting itself is a shame, too, as apart from creating a braindead marketing campaign, the only other addition they've made from the film is a significant edit - they've removed the last 2 to 3 minutes of the film. It drastically changes the ending, making it seem like your standard horror-film copout -
"How do we end this now?"
"Dunno. How 'bout an unmotivated false scare?"
It's not enough to ruin the film - the rest of the film is too strong for that - but the original ending very nicely pulls the rest of the film together in a way that the US edit doesn't. (If you've seen the current version and are curious to know how the original version ends, email me.
Go see it already.
Posted by starlen at 8:24 AM | Comments (0)
March 6, 2006
Crashing at the Oscars.
Well, Crash won. Yay for bad movies.
I've briefly mentioned how much and why I hate this movie so, and I don't feel like retreading it. I will give some credit to Paul Haggis, he of Canadian descent and Scientologist nuttiness spirituality, because it has to be difficult writing a script and filming it with fists that look like this:
Speaking of Ham
There was a moment in the pre-show Red Carpet banter when Mr. George "Hollywood Saran Wrapped Ham" Pennachio, who to this point had been greeting most guests with such effusive (though expected) empty-headedness as "Great to see you!" and "So great that your movie was nominated!," decided that the best way to initiate an interview with the members of the Three Six Mafia was with, quote:
"I want you to express your gratitude"
for being nominated. He quickly semi-stumbled back out of it, but the words - the stern demand from a white guy with a microphone for proper gratitude(!) from young black men - had been spoken.
Now, had Crash had moments like that, Haggis might've been on to something. (Haggis would've just had Pennachio refer to them with outright slurs, I'm sure).
Posted by starlen at 6:36 PM | Comments (0)
February 5, 2006
Werner Herzog, Superhero.
Two recent news stories have confirmed something I've long thought: Werner Herzog is magical, if not an outright superhero.
Exhibit A: Herzog hescued Joaquin Phoenix from his car wreck
Apparently, Joaquin was driving along a canyon road above Sunset when he overturned his car, and came to at the sound of Herzog's voice:
"I remember this knocking on the passenger window. There was this German voice saying, 'Just relax.' There's the airbag, I can't see and I'm saying, 'I'm fine. I am relaxed. Finally, I rolled down the window and this head pops inside. And he said, 'No, you're not.' And suddenly I said to myself, 'That's Werner Herzog' There's something so calming and beautiful about Werner Herzog's voice. I felt completely fine and safe. I climbed out. I got out of the car and I said, 'Thank you,' and he was gone."
See that? Classic superhero move - leaves before he can be thanked for his selfless act of heroism.
Exhibit B: Herzog Shot During BBC Interview
Yes, Herzog was shot. That's the kind of headline that might induce panic or worry. Had this been someone like Steven Spielberg or Ridley Scott, we'd have a story about how they were whisked off to Cedars-Sinai and are currently under close watch by a team of superdoctors to ensure their recovery. But not Herzog. No, instead, Herzog chooses to complete the interview, once again exhibiting an eerie calm:
The 63-year-old was chatting with movie journalist Mark Kermode about his documentary Grizzly Man, when a sniper opened fire with an air rifle.
Kermode explains, "I thought a firecracker had gone off.
"Herzog, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, said, 'Oh, someone is shooting at us. We must go.'
"He just carried on with the interview while bleeding quietly in his boxer shorts."
And then Herzog says this: ""It was not a significant bullet. I am not afraid."
Let's run these events against my "Superhero or not?" checklist:
Miraculous rescue of people in need: Check.
Uncanny knack for showing up at the right moment: Check.
Retreats before gratitude can be expressed: Check.
Makes others feel safe: Check.
Impervious to bullets: Check.
Unafraid of mortal danger: Check.
Unwilling to let villains stand in the way of his duties: Check.
Sent from a foreign land (Germany) to save us all: Check. (Thanks, Sam!)
Gives interviews in his boxer shorts: Check.
It's pretty clear: Werner Herzog is a superhero.
Posted by starlen at 12:46 PM | Comments (2)
February 4, 2006
She wants better music.
A few things to know about She Wants Revenge, the trite throwback band-of-the-moment that I keep seeing press for everywhere. In interviews, they've stressed that they're just making music influenced by the bands they grew up listening to (supposedly, a list that begins with Joy Division, Bauhaus, et al):
- Their vocalist is Justin Warfield. You may have bought his poorly received hippy rap album in 1993, which came out hot on the heels of Digable Planets and Arrested Development.
- Oh, you didn't? Well, maybe you bought his poorly received alterna-take-on-Lenny-Kravitz-lite rock throwback album, which came out in 1995.
- No? Then maybe you bought a Limp Bizkit album?
Fred Durst is responsible for signing She Wants Revenge, which might have something to do with why they went from zero-to-everywhere in about a two months, on a major label. (Who listens to Fred Durst anymore? Who is paying him to sign bands?)
And that, I think, is all you need to know about She Wants Revenge.
Posted by starlen at 8:52 PM | Comments (1)
January 25, 2006
Busy, busy, busy.
I've been busy, busy, busy. Big things on the horizon! More on that later, though. I'm just dropping back in for a moment to share some songs that I have had on a virtual loop for the last week or two:
-
Editors - Camera
This song is just about perfect, especially the 2:41 mark. Wow.
I missed not one but two opportunities to see these guys last week, and the kicking-of-self commenced immediately. Interpol comparisons be damned - they may draw from the same well of influences, but they don't sound like they wouldn't exist w/o Interpol (She Wants Revenge, I'm looking at you here). -
Midlake - Roscoe
The immediate reference is CSNY, whom I've never really listened to, but there's something else going on here in a late 1970s rock sort of way that I can't quite put my finger on. But I like it. A lot. -
Phoenix - If I Ever Feel Better
Perfect pop from their first album, which I finally got around to getting. Fantastic!
Good stuff!
Posted by starlen at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)
January 14, 2006
Night of Fire!
I don't know if this has already pinged its way across the web of the world of the wide world wide web, but a good friend of mine just tipped me off to this video. Let's run it through the Star fantasy checklist and see how it does:
- gold lamé capes - check
- fire, including the breathing of - check
- hot girls in coordinated outfits singing in engrish - check
- tanks - nope
- large man in a speedo showing said hot girls how it's done (dancing, that is) - check
- gargoyle/dragon imagery - check
- vaguely masonic symbols - check
- well-placed, enthusiastic "yeah!"s - check
- handclaps - nope
- snacks, and eating thereof - check
Posted by starlen at 1:17 AM | Comments (1)
January 10, 2006
He's an actor, but...
... what he really wants to do is rap. According to Allhiphop, Patrick Swayze "is finally experimenting with rap music." (Their words, my emphasis. Who was waiting for this? Oh, right, ME.) In the Swayzlestick's words, he's using “rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads.”
I'd make some jokes about this (or his recent appearance in a Ja Rule video), but everybody knows nobody puts Baby in the corner, lest they invoke the throat-ripping wrath of Dalton.
Instead, I'll try to be constructive, and point Mr. Swayze in the direction of my good friend Alex, who has at least one hot rhyme up for grabs in his Free Unused Rap Lyric Compendium. That should help start Swayze on his undoubtedly illustrious rap career, even if it does indebt him to a private performance for Alex.
Posted by starlen at 9:34 PM | Comments (1)
December 8, 2005
My iTunes Signature
This is one of the coolest things I've seen in a while: the iTunes Signature Maker. I'll let Jason Freeman describe it, since he made it:
People often ask me what music I listen to, and I find it difficult to describe my enormous music collection in just a few sentences. So I created iTSM to answer in sound a question I cannot answer in words.
iTSM selects a small number of your "favorite" tracks based on some simple selection criteria, such as the number of times you have played them or the rating you have assigned them. Then it analyzes the audio content of these files, combining a small bit of each of them to create the signature.
Maybe you'll load your iTunes signature onto your iPod, e-mail it to some friends, share it in our signature gallery, or stick it on your home page. Maybe it will help you gauge your compatibility with your next blind date: "She seems nice enough, but her iTunes signature is just so atonal! Should I go with my heart or with my ear?" Or maybe an iTunes signature will figure prominently into a political attack ad: "If you're mad at him for raising your taxes, polluting our environment, and cutting the education budget, just wait until you hear the music he listens to…"
You can select the criteria for song selection (most played/recently added/top rated), and select the number of songs, how many seconds it should snip (between 1 and 6, I think), and how many songs it can layer at once (from 1 to 10). It even generates a report telling you which songs it used, in which order, and what snippets of the song it took for your signature.
So, without further ado, I present to you my iTunes signature (1.32mb mp3). Three seconds of each of the 50 most listened to songs on my iTunes (restricted to one song per album, so that it didn't turn into a Richard Buckner/Interpol/Spoons: Ohia fest) mixed and layered into a single meta-song, clocking in at just under a minute and a half.
Let me know if you recognize anything, for better or worse. And let's hear yours!
Posted by starlen at 2:55 AM | Comments (1)
November 5, 2005
I poems (another music listening update)
It occurred to me that these alphabetical-listening song-lists are an awful lot like David Bunn's library card poems. To catch you up to speed if you're not familiar with Bunn's work, after the Los Angeles Library System did away with their paper card catalog system, David retrieved all the cards, and now makes fantastic displays of the serendipitous poetry that comes out of the sequential book titles on the cards (some of his work, appropriately enough, is hanging in the downtown Los Angeles Public Library).
So, here's my attempt at the same, using every song that begins with I (as in the pronoun, not just the letter) or a contraction of I. I didn't leave any songs out, nor did I reorder them. I think it's kind of interesting, seeing what comes out of it (feel free to change the channel now):
I
I'd really love to see you tonight
I'll be in the air
I'll be you
I'll believe in anything
I'll come running
I'll do a little bit more
I'll fly away
I'll tell him tonight
I'm a ghost
I'm a man
I'm a Mormon
I'm an actor
I'm cool (interlude)
I'm free now
I'm getting cold
I'm going on for Jesus
I'm going to Spain
I'm her slave
I'm in a bad way
I'm in hell
I'm in love with no one
I'm lying
I'm never bored
I'm not asking for a tennis bracelet
I'm not going anywhere
I'm not in love
I'm not the one
I'm old fashioned
I'm on standby
I'm on your side
I'm part of everything again
I'm rejoicing in the lord
I'm set free
I'm so green
I'm so lonesome I could cry
I'm sorry you're having trouble...goodbye.
I'm still in love
I'm the bomb
I'm to blame
I'm with the pilots
I'm your villain
I'm yours, you're mine
I've been everywhere
I've been lost
I've been loving you too long
I've been riding with the ghost
I've got it all (most)
I've got my own problems to fix
I've got the ice in me
I've got you under my skin
I've seen it all
I've seen the land beyond
I ain't no joke
I am a cracked machine
I am not lonely with cricket
I am only me
I am the lamb
I am the sticks
I am your king
I believe in you
I blew away
I came as a rat
I can't believe
I can't believe it's true
I can't forget
I can't win
I can not have seen the light
I could see the dude
I could stay here forever
I could still (be an actor)
I dig you
I don't believe in the sun
I don't want to get over you
I don't want to record anymore
I drink the wine
I drive a lot
I feel the rain fall
I felt you
i finally found a jungle I like!
I found a way out
I found that essence rare
I get lonesome
I get the message
I go humble
I got a live one
I got the
I guess you're right
I have Jesus in my heart today
I heard you looking
I hold you
I invented the night
I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I know I can handle it
I know that loving
I know what I knew,
I know you got soul
I know your little secret
I lied
I like lo-fi recordings
I love the wb
I love you more
I love you more
I made the change
I missed the point
I must learn to live alone
I must prepare (tablecloth tint)
I need feel
I need love
I never came
I never picked cotton
I only said
I pray
I pray (interlude)
I ran (so far away)
I saw drones
I say that I will go
I see a darkness
I see you again
I set my face to the hillside
I should have been watching you
I sleep forever
I spy
I still miss someone
I summon you
I think I need a new heart
I thought about you
I turn my camera on
I want to know what love is
I want her she wants me
I was a landscape in your dream
I was a sunny rainphase
I was never young
I was the fool beside you for too long
I was your man
I will follow you into the dark
I will obey the lord
I wish
I wish I was the moon
I wonder
I would hurt a fly
Previously: Don't.
Posted by starlen at 2:11 AM | Comments (0)
November 4, 2005
You say potato, I say get the hell away from me.
There's a new trailer for King Kong up. I'm conflicted - it looks much more promising than the previous trailer, so I think I want to see it.
But then, there's this:
Unless my eyes deceive me, that thing disengaging itself from Adrien Brody's face is a GIANT POTATO BUG.
Good God, that's terrifying. I need more information on the quantity of giant potato bug content in this film. If there's more than this, I'll be suffering nightmares for months. As it is, I could barely find the will to go on living after my first encounter with a live one as a child, found while digging through the dirt in our backyard, where it attached itself to my finger. Had I hesitated a moment more, I'm sure it would have pulled the bones right out of my hand with its vicious pincers.
If you need more info on why you should fear the potato bug, I direct you to the handy resource that is potatobugs.com.
Posted by starlen at 12:01 AM | Comments (2)
October 31, 2005
Bleep-bleep.
I'm watching What the Bleep Do We Know right now, and less than fifteen minutes into its dramatic recreations and philosophical talking heads, I'm reminded of the words of another great philosopher:
Horseshit, Clark.
- Cousin Eddie Griswold
Now, I'd read the fantastic Salon article on the film when it first hit theatres, so I knew to expect some wackiness (such as the Tacoma housewife who heads up the School of Enlightenment and claims to be channeling a 50,000 year-old warrior spirit called Ramtha). But I'm less than fifteen minutes in, and the film makes the unqualified claim that the Native Americans literally COULD NOT see Columbus' ships arriving, because they had never seen ships before. They could see ripples on the waves but were unable to physically see the ships because it didn't match their reality.
People lauded this film? Were they asleep? Thankfully, I've read a lot about bullshit cults and seen plenty of crappy movies before, so, unlike the Native Americans with Columbus' ship, I'm able to see 'What the Bleep Do We Know" without any trouble.
Holy Nuttiness update: Thirty minutes in, and now we hear that meditation caused a 25% drop in violent crime in Washington DC in 1993, which they could predict based on "48 other studies." Not surprisingly, there's no mention of how "violent crime" was measured, nor what the 25% figure refers to, neither in terms of time period, nor comparison to a control. I'm sure the science behind that is real solid.
Oh, what the hell: Now they're saying that writing words on water bottles changed the STRUCTURE OF WATER MOLECULES in such a manner as to match THE EMOTIONS WRITTEN ON THE BOTTLE. I give up; my incredulity has been officially exasperated.
Posted by starlen at 10:38 PM | Comments (4)
