October 11, 2005
Superstitious!
Links
- Pat Robertson: Recent natural disasters point to return of Jesus Christ
in which the esteemed Mr. Robertson compares earthquakes and tsunamis to labor in childbirth. - Cambodian Couple Suck Daughter's Blood
Of the couple, who bit off their daughter's thumbnails and a small part of her nose, the police say: "We, the police, just have no idea what offense to charge them with." Really? Child abuse and endangerment don't spring to mind, even a little bit? -
Experts Seek to Debunk Baby Food Myths
Now the story of the Cambodian couple makes sense. I haven't read this yet, but I'll bet it mentions that eating babies doesn't ward off evil spirits, and they probably just hadn't read this yet.
Posted by starlen at 07:38 AM | Comments (0)
October 10, 2005
Proposed Squid Death!
I felt pretty confident that I had the squid problem solved with my python idea. However, ever-vigilant & patriotic land-lubber Brad has brought to my attention a curious detail he noticed in this article about the Southern California otter ban:
Capturing an otter that strayed out of bounds was a daunting task. Divers wearing specialized equipment would sneak up on an otter while it was asleep.
Armed with this new information, Brad writes: "I think we need to get ahold of this 'specialized equipment' and attack the giant squids while they sleep. Cephalopods be gone!"
While I appreciate the fervor of Brad's squid-hate, his idea is crazy. To wit: otters are adorable creatures who give out magical hugs - they want to be snuck up on by people. Squid, on the other hand, are pure raging evil. Everybody knows that squid don't sleep, and that they've got eyes all around their squishy heads. You could try to sneak up on it, and then, just when you thought you had it, you'd discover that its eyes weren't really closed at all, but that it was peering at you through the slits of its eyelids like some kid cheating at a classroom game of seven-up, and then it'd pull some tentacle-fu and stuff you into its hungry gaping maw. And it'd probably laugh while it did it.
Now, if we could further specialize this equipment to a.) shoot torpedos and/or lazers and b.) fit pythons, then we might be getting somewhere.
Posted by starlen at 09:52 AM | Comments (3)
October 05, 2005
Squid Problem: Solved.
I think I've just found a solution for the squid problem.
Now, a 13-foot python won't be able to take on a giant squid by itself, but you get a couple of 'em - like, maybe one for each tentacle and one for the head - and you've got yourself a fight. Or maybe we'll need to somehow breed larger pythons, or cross-breed them with anacondas like the one that ate Jon Voight in that snake documentary from a couple of years back. (I think it was called Anaconda.)
Of course, then we'll have to figure out how to get rid of the snakes. Because, let's face it, if that thing can eat a six-foot alligator (or Jon Voight), I'm little more than a meal on legs.
Posted by starlen at 09:03 PM | Comments (0)
September 28, 2005
Please, don't anger the squid.
Everybody's seen it now, I'm sure - the first photos of a live giant squid.
They estimate the squid to be 26 feet in length; the largest on record is 59 feet in length. That's ten times as tall as me, with twice as many appendages. Toe to toe (sucker?), that giant squid is sure to kick my ass in a fight.
So what do they do while photographing this aquatic monster? THEY TEAR ONE OF ITS TENTACLES OFF. If I can briefly call your attention to the fact that the total cephalopod biomass now exceeds that of humans (check the bottom of the first page), I think one thing is clear: We do not want angry cephalopods.
If these things learn to walk and breathe out of the water and/or talk to dolphins, we're screwed.
Update:This Grady Hendrix fellow seems to know exactly what I'm talking about, and Slate points out that in addition to giant squid, there's an even more terrifying Colossal Squid, with "a larger beak than the giant squid and hooks on its tentacles." Humans? Doomed.
Posted by starlen at 10:46 PM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2005
Leave it to WorldNetDaily ...
...to put an event into proper perspective.
I like the fact that WorldNetDaily is still stuck on Kerry, almost a full year after the election. A funeral for Hunter S. Thompson, and they pick up the important details - Kerry and blow-up sex dolls.
Thanks to Matt for the heads-up.
Posted by starlen at 02:22 PM | Comments (0)
August 13, 2005
God loves mimes and kittens
DROP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING and check out K&K Mime. And for the love of God (quite literally, apparently), don't skip the flash intro.
Moving on - I've entered my cat, Agamemnon Bob, into KittenWar. He's batting 1 for 1 1 for 2 right now, and needs your support:
Aggie.
So, let the Kitten Wars begin. And don't forget to take a moment to check out the Losingest Kittens.
Posted by starlen at 02:05 PM | Comments (4)
June 21, 2005
Links
- Tucson Classified Obituary: the stolen election of 2000 and living with right-winged Americans finally brought him to his early demise.
- Maybe the best police composite sketch ever?
- Ulysses Speaks! Somebody's putting up scans of the Nation of Ulysses zines from some 15 years ago.
- Batman and Me: An NPR replay of a Bob Kane interview from 1990.
- Unbuilt homes sell like crazy - Creeping closer to a bursting bubble?
- George Weller's Nagasaki reports printed at last, after being censored for over 60 years
- Ralph Reed of the Christian Coalition running for Lieutenant Governor of Georgia - This is bad, as his ultimate political aspirations are definitely aimed much higher.
Posted by starlen at 11:27 AM | Comments (0)
June 17, 2005
Links
- Halliburton to build new $30 mln Guantanamo jail
Good to see the administration is giving serious thought to the objections over Guantanamo's very existence. - Kodak to Discontinue Black-and-White Photo Paper
- Texas Governor Signs Abortion Bill in an evangelical school gymnasium.
Maybe this will create more opportunities to imprison teenaged minorities to life sentences. - On the Monster Engine, Dave Devries makes paintings of children's drawings. Here's an interview with one of those kids.
- Look, if you're going to have multiple wives, you don't want to have to compete with your sons and his friends.
- Fangoria
These are the magazines I spent my childhood reading, from about seven years on. Then my uncle hooked me up with a treasure trove of back issues. - The State Machine
A dynamic visualization of the relationship between U.S. Senators and different sources of campaign funding.
Posted by starlen at 04:54 PM | Comments (0)
Links
- Hospital: An outdated, outmoded web project I did for a class sometime ago.
- Scientology Scares Me.
Be sure to scroll down for the Nightline clip. It's long and the video is of poor quality, but it's fascinating.
Posted by starlen at 02:08 AM | Comments (0)
