August 23, 2005
When I was in Seattle, I found this sign near my friends Matt and Rachel's house. You can click for a larger view - it says:
CAUTION
PSYCHOTIC CAT ATTACKS ANY SIZE DOG
SORRY!
While there, I saw no sign of the cat. Being back in Los Angeles a few days later, my opportunities to hunt a cat down in Seattle were limited. I needed an inside man, and Matt was just the candidate - he was out of town at the time I took the photo, baking in the sun, digging up rocks in Utah or something. But he shared my enthusiasm for the sign, and, upon his return, we hatched a plan to track down the cat.
Our elaborate plan was conceived and plotted something like this:
Me: So, school starts when?
Matt: Like the end of September or something.
Me: Awesome. What's going on until then?
Matt: Um...nothing, really. Some video games.
(Matt and I sometimes play an embarrasing amount of Halo 2 together)
Me: Awesome. So...maybe you should try to find the cat and take a picture of it.
Matt: Yeah, I could do that. I got nothing else going on.
Me: I'll pay you five dollars.
Matt: Deal!
With our strategic plan officially hatched and mapped out, Matt, like a true champ, walked the half-block up the street each day, camera in hand, looking for the cat. After two weeks with no cat sightings, I suggested maybe Matt should get a dog to entice the cat to attack. Matt said no; I questioned his commitment to the task at hand.
Distrust began to grow between the two of us.
Then, a week later, we were dealt a striking blow. The Psychotic Cat sign was taken down. Our enthusiasm waned considerably.
Matt worried that they might have noticed him walking just past their house and turning around each day, especially with his camera. It did seem a bit stalker-y, all things considered. I'd probably call the cops on Matt if he passed my house each day, and that's even with knowing him. Things looked hopeless.
But lo! Today brought a welcome surprise - an email from Matt, with three photos attached:
Alright...here are some pictures of the elusive psychotic cat, I believe.
In truth, he was quite friendly and soft. Maybe he just freaks when he sees dogs. I can't say. Anyway, voila!
-Matt
And, so, without further ado, the psychotic cat:
I had at least hoped for a picture of the cat springing from the hillside, claws and fangs unleashed, but I guess the blurry, glowy-eyed photo will have to do. More flattering (and in-focus), less psycho pictures of the cat can be found here and here.
I'm sad to report that Matt appears to have lost no limbs, nor suffered even a scratch. And I guess I owe him five dollars.
Posted by starlen at August 23, 2005 10:48 PM
Comments
You don't owe that fucker anything! How do you know he didn't just take a picture of some random cat??? Those glowing eyes look photoshopped to me! Very suspicious...
Posted by: doug at August 24, 2005 01:50 AM
You're right, and you confirm my suspicions about Matt.
So maybe I pay him $2.50.
Posted by: star at August 24, 2005 10:19 PM
Maybe you should enter that photo into the kitten wars. I'd be curious to know how it fares. Plus it would just be awesome.
Posted by: Casey at August 27, 2005 04:40 PM
This cat looks very familiar. There is a solid chance that my cat regularly commutes from LA to attack dogs from the NW. I'm drawing this conclusion from the following irrefutable facts:
1) My cat is grey
2) My cat spent several years in Seattle
3) My cat hates dogs
I propose that we try to positively ID this cat as mine. Matt: the next time you see this cat, see if it responds in any way to the phrase "Here, kitty, kitty". If you're still unsure, see if it will eat dangerously large amounts of catfood.
I knew we were making a mistake by letting him roam free during the day...
Posted by: Steve at August 29, 2005 03:01 PM
